Monday, May 28, 2012

Second Floor Cafe

Second Floor Cafe is the bastard child of an unholy trinity between T.G.I.F's, a Christian bookstore, and an Emma Watson fan club.  The smarmy charm holds you fixed in its lattice like snowflakes of smug vaginal angel exfoliate.  Whitney Houston's vocal chords haunt the rafters.  Swimming in the aerosol aether of tinseled trash and glittered cheer.   Suspended like myths.  Merriness is ordered, geometrically presented, and then dissected with phone cams and small forks.  The patronage feels strictly amusement park, master-slave.  A bucolic safari of endangered clichés, cannibalizing itself like big game hunting irony.  Fuck you Jesus, we're here for Santa.


Tapei Academy of Business & Finance is the perfect place to learn about (and take care of) business.  The Naissance coffee shop is aptly named (the birth of an idea or movement). Expect the usual permafrost landscape of people studying, but the wooden tones and bookstore periphery make for nice foreplay.

The bathrooms are right off the set of Gattaca. Large panels of frosted glass, gray clay, and beachwood offer a controlled glimpse of a Utopian future.  Hands-free urinals wait obediently like Doberman Pincers.  Soap issues forth like a miracle from god, yet with more reliability and less insecurity.  Then all of your sins rinse into the sink from automatic water jets.  Completely refreshed and rejuvenated, you emerge from the Fortress of Solitude more super than man.